“No matter how far we ran, we always carried fear with us.”
Basic Text, p. 14
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For many of us, fear was a constant factor in our lives before we came to Narcotics Anonymous. We used because we were afraid to feel emotional or physical pain. Our fear of people and situations gave us a convenient excuse to use drugs. A few of us were so afraid of everything that we were unable even to leave our homes without using first.
As we stay clean, we replace our fear with a belief in the fellowship, the steps, and a Higher Power. As this belief grows, our faith in the miracle of recovery begins to color all aspects of our lives. We start to see ourselves differently. We realize we are spiritual beings, and we strive to live by spiritual principles.
The application of spiritual principles helps eliminate fear from our lives. By refraining from treating other people in harmful or unlawful ways, we find we needn’t fear how we will be treated in return. As we practice love, compassion, understanding, and patience in our relationships with others, we are treated in turn with respect and consideration. We realize these positive changes result from allowing our Higher Power to work through us. We come to believe—not to think, but to believe—that our Higher Power wants only the best for us. No matter what the circumstances, we find we can walk in faith instead of fear.
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Just for today: I no longer need to run in fear, but can walk in faith that my Higher Power has only the best in store for me.
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There will be times for us all when we struggle, but that is merely a part of this life. I truly believe that my Higher Power wants only the best for me... for all of us. God's grace is easily forgotten when we forget that the whole experience is life. I've been praying a lot this past week. My friends have been great, but I need inner strength and for that I turn to God. I prayed for a reason to smile last night. I asked God to hold me and let me know his love. I've probably mentioned this before.... I rarely dream, but last night I did. It was actually a memory of a day I had back in High School. I hadn't thought about that day in a really long time. It was one of the best days of my life. It reminded me not just of what love can be, but that I have know the beauty of love more than once in my life. I will know it again. Until then... don't forget to smile.
