You all can't be wrong...

 

For as long as I can remember I have struggled to be my own person and do what I thought was right for myself. There were many times in my life when I thought I had done what was right for me because of the approval that I received, only to look back days or months later and feel otherwise. I have about 7 years and 10 months clean. One of the things I have wanted most since I got clean was to learn to be my own person and to make decisions for myself. There have been times that I have needed to seek out the experience of people with more experience in a given area. To be truthful while I have been clean I have based some decisions I've made on another person's opinion because I didn't want to take the personal responsibility for the outcome. I try not to do this very often, but it bothers me that I've done it at all.


Once we have uncovered our fear, we are able to move beyond it.  We try to imagine what our lives could be like without some of our more glaring shortcomings.  This gives us a feeling for what lies past our fear, providing the motivation we need to push through it.  Our Higher Power offers us a new vision for our lives, free of our defects.  That vision is the essence of our own best, brightest dreams for ourselves.  We need not fear that vision.

The inner satisfaction we seek can be found in doing the right things for the right reasons.  We break the people-pleasing cycle when we stop acting merely to gain others’ approval and start acting on our Higher Power’s will for us.  When we do, we may be pleasantly surprised to find that the people who really count in our lives will approve all the more of our behavior.  Most importantly, though, we will approve of ourselves.

I really want to approve of myself. I think that I know the things that will suit me the best. They are not always what will make me happiest in the short term. For the first time that I can remember, I don't wish for anyone else's life. I love my life and am close to being able to say that I love myself.