Don't try this at home

Scratch that.

Don't try this anywhere haha

Eli Manning

188 games

298 touchdowns

202 interceptions

101 fumbles

1.585 touchdowns per game

1.611 turnovers per game

Elite? I think not.

It's been awhile

I haven't listened to this for over a year. It's good stuff. Check it out as time allows.

 

I'm what I am and I'm what I'm not... 

Give country a chance. You may just find yourself smiling more ;)

God Only Knows

My cousin is in trouble. Her child is in trouble. I have no relationship with her. Those that do will not tell her the truth for fear of being pushed out of her life. I’ve spoken to all of them about this. This is beyond my control. 

I’m damaged. Through work on myself I’ve gotten better, but the wounds can be tender if the right spots are hit. My cousin didn’t know much love growing up. I'm sure there are parts of her young self that looked for love in other places: friends and their families as well as my mother. Considering her home life, I think it's safe to say that somewhere inside her she wondered if she was lovable. In her late 20s she found someone who swept her off her feet. The type of person we all dream about. Who accepted her and gave her what she needed at the time. I'm sure it helped that he was good looking and intelligent. He is also damaged. He is an active addict. Yesterday he threatened her. He also threatened to “take away what she loves the most.” Rightfully so she took that as threatening the life of their child. She called the police. He flushed his drugs down the toilet. The police came and removed her and the child. She would not press charges. Somewhere inside her she must hope to reconcile.

Before they were married, her husband had dental work done with our family dentist. After looking at her future husband’s teeth the dentist called my cousin to tell her that he believed the guy was a drug addict. The dentist said that he had never seen teeth like that… he’d only read about such cases. Red flag ignored. Years of longing for someone to love and be loved by someone… It’s powerful what fear will drive us to do. Her insecurities have clouded her judgement since she met him. She forgot that she’d had a successful professional career. She forgot that she was attractive. She forgot everything and listened to the little voices in her head that told her being with him was much better than being alone.

Fast forward about 10 years. They have a child. He cheats on her. He openly uses drugs with her knowledge. They fight in secrecy. There are rumors, but nothing blatant in front of family. No one wants to betray her trust. No one wants to say something that will keep her from confiding in them… so no one fuckin helps her! No one tells her the truth! The truth is that whatever she loved about him isn't there anymore (unless it's his handsome penis). He’s not able to love her either. He’s an active drug addict and therefore the most self centered individual on the planet.

What about their child. He’s 6 years old. What has he seen? What has he heard? How many tears has he shed in fear? Does he know what it is to be terrified of his own Dad? Has he seen Daddy hit Mommy? How many times has he seen Daddy screaming in Mommy’s face? What names has he heard Daddy call Mommy? Her own self centered nature prevents her from seeing the bigger picture. Her fear of being alone puts her and the child in harms way. Verbal abuse is harm. Don’t forget that.

I type this because it's unlikely that I'll have the opportunity to say this to her directly. I don’t have a relationship with her. I hope my conversations with others inspire them to say these words to her. As the serenity prayer states, I am accepting the thing I can not change. ::sniffle::

Are we having a conversation?

A conversation is an exchange of "information." Usually, questions are asked and answers are given. An example would be, "How do you define a good conversation?" There will be 2 opinions. They may be similar, but there will be differences. How big the differences are will determine if we can agree. We may not agree. It's okay. It's a conversation (see above: an exchange of information). Identifying something such as "what makes a good conversation" isn't the same as identifying who will be the guardian of our children if we simultaneously died in a fluke slip and slide accident. There is a difference...

So here's an idea for you all to consider - Stop trying to convert other people to your way of thinking.

Just don't do it.

Converse. Exchange ideas. Poke fun. Maybe even talk a little trash, but -

1. Do not enter a conversation with the expectation that you are going to convert me to your opinion. Why would that be your goal? Are you a Jehovah's Witness? You don't need to save me from my point of view. I'm an adult. I may change my mind after our exchange, but it's unlikely.

2.  Do not become defensive when I ask questions. My questions are not a judgement. They are for clarification.*

*small point of interest... I ask questions only if I care enough about you to find out how you came to your stance. If I didn't care then I'd just change topics and leave you to your misinformed opinion hah By asking questions I'm trying to convince myself that you mean well despite being wrong ;)

Seriously, if you're saying something and I don't ask questions then you can absolutely assume that I don't give a shit what you have to say. So there you have it. Do whatever you wish with that information. Good day, sir.