A friend of mine recently lost his job. This isn’t a surprise
to me as his life has been slowly deteriorating. I’m worried for him. He rarely
answers the phone when I call him. Sometimes I’m relieved when I get his
voicemail. Our conversations are like pulling teeth. Very one sided. I ask
questions and get back one word replies. What do you do for someone who is
depressed?
This is the end of the story, but not the whole story. For
the past 2 years he’s been doing well. New job with advancement opportunities.
He liked the people and the work environment. He arrived early and stayed late.
He received a few promotions along the way. He was finally able to make ends
meet and have something left over. A year ago he met a young woman. She invited
him to her Church. He met more people there, started to read the Bible, and
found peace in prayer. He attended Bible study and Church regularly. He saw a
different future than he’d ever imagined for himself. This was life as it’s supposed
to be… we do recover!!
Time moves forward and inexperience starts to rear it’s
head. Work advancement leads to more stress. The deeper the feelings in the
relationship the higher level of anxiety both he and his partner start to exhibit.
High emotions made both hearts fragile leading to arguments. The arguments turned
to fights which eventually ended the relationship. There isn’t any specific
event that someone could point to for a reason. My friend was inconsolable.
He continued going to Church and Bible study each week. He
prayed every day to ask God for strength. Depression took over. He started
showing up late for work. He went from sadness to anger throughout the day. I
encouraged him to come back to meetings. He had health insurance so I also
encouraged him to seek outside help through therapy. Everything was too much.
He thought of using. He would spend full weekends at my house and sleep almost
the entire time. He was confused and angry. Our conversations often ran in
circles. He would start crying at the drop of the hat. He couldn’t move
forward. He had no energy. No hope. These were not easy
conversations. My heart broke for him.
About 2 weeks ago he was involved in a screaming match with
a vendor who makes deliveries to his place of work. Last week he was let go from his job
over the incident. I’ve since pleaded with him to seek outside help or go back
to meetings… anything to try to halt this downward spiral. He doesn’t have much
money in reserve. Unemployment isn’t enough to pay all the bills. He’s stopped
answering my calls and texts. I’m completely powerless. Sigh.
It took a lot out of me to write the above. I wanted this
post to be about recovery. I wanted to write that just as he built a life
before he can build the same thing for himself again. Starting over certainly
isn’t on the list of life’s easy things to do, but it’s possible. We can have anything we need through hard work and enough time. Don’t stand there
and looking up at the summit. Get started. Get dirty. Go! Climb the
mountain. You’ve done it before. You will be able to do it again.
I hope you're okay. I'm worried about you. Don't give up. Please.
God bless.
