Sometimes I find myself reading through my gmail / gchat correspondence with Panthea. I hate that I do this. I start comparing what was with what is and that's destructive. Nothing will ever be identical to that relationship and that's not necessarily a bad thing. Ive been in love. The relationships are different. They have to be, right? Different people and such...
The connection. How do you deal with the loss of that? We could talk for hours. Rarely did we have little to say to each other. There are e-mails that mention exactly this point... How do you deal with the emotional pain and mistrust of everything that has happened and yet still have such easy banter and interesting conversations with someone?
The answer is that the connection doesn't last. The present is not a bubble. Eventually the pain works its way into every thought and destroys the connection. Play the fuckin tape, stupid.
...who would have know how bitter sweet this would taste? Yeah yeah. Go eat another doughnut, Adele.
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