The real super bowl

So it's the Monday after the big game and my phone is blowing up with references about how much time my friends have spent in the bathroom so far today. I will not share the images with you here, but I will say that they invoke phantom smells. At the office, the parade to and from the bathroom is unrivaled. No one called out sick today (despite the snow), but the odors wafting from the bathroom into the hall make me wish some of my employees hadn't come to work.

I didn't overeat yesterday and I take daily probiotics... Did this prevent me from suffering the same fate as my brethren? Nope. The few pieces of cheese quesadilla (with salsa and sour cream), half dozen chicken wings (with blue cheese), and slice of meat stuffed pizza came bubblin' out this morning over multiple sessions. Not good. Although, to be fair the salsa had jalepenos as well as tomato seeds and the pizza had sesame seeds all over the top crust so my intestines may be rebelling out of sheer spite.

On a similar belly bombing note, Chipotle closed all their stores today in an act that will hopefully reassure stock holders and burrito lovers. Chipotle stock has also literally taken a shit of late due to their trying to kill patrons on the east and west coast by giving them e coli. To make up for the store closings they are giving away a code for a free burrito if you text them before 6PM today. Here's the link: https://www.chipotle.com/raincheck Yeah! Free food. Is this awesome or is Chipotle really a branch of ISIS trying to take us down? #trumplife4life